AS & Adulthood

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BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 36 WIDTH="519"><div> <B>AS AN ADULT</b></div> <div> <B>Philip Gluyas Website: 1/12/00</b></div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 296 ><NOBR><div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Excellent rote memory</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Ability to absorb facts easily</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">High standard of maths (and science)</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Inability to cope with criticism or imperfection</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Withdrawal into isolated activities (as a result of school yard teasing)</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Unusual gait or stance with a tendency to be clumsy</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">A presentation that is seen as odd or eccentric</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Appearance of good language skills but limited content</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Poor social understanding</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Loud voice/hyperverbal</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Live in a fantasy world</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Tendency to be disorganized</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Tendency to be obstinate, callous, vindictive or insensitive</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Obsessional questioning</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Restlessness</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Repetitive or preservative</b></div> <div> <B><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="Symb075c00b700dc00000000.gif" HEIGHT="15" WIDTH="24" ALIGN="bottom" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0">Fads/Obsessions</b></div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <B>AS AN ADULT</b></div> <div> <B>Philip Gluyas: (an adult with Asperger) 1/12/00</b></div> <bR> <div> <B>Adaptation to the adult world</b> needs to be as quick as possible. Again, knowledge is a friend, lack of it is an enemy, and adaptation can only be successful with knowledge. Without adaptation, the adult sufferer would have extreme difficulty in getting a job. The biggest problem in today's society is the demand for interpersonal skills. There is no opportunity for an AS child to practice this at school, and that mitigates against them. How to adapt it successfully is something that I certainly can't see from my perspective. But then my view is clouded by two bad work experiences, one lasting six and a half years, which undoubtedly multiplied the environmental effects of school. I can safely say the damage was as much as five times what school did to me. I can only discuss how I have coped with each of the features I described earlier.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Excellent rote memory</b></div> <div> This needs no adaptation, and can in fact be an immense advantage. But there is a frustrating side effect in my case, and that is a spasmodic short term memory, especially when I have a lot on my mind. That's when to write things down, rather than try to remember them, and that does help.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Ability to absorb facts easily</b></div> <div> Another area that needs no adaptation, and is a big positive. But be careful. I have had to put up with people who don't believe that I have all the facts, just because I haven't been in the particular area for long. That leads to disrespect which can only be corrected with knowledge of the disability. Uncorrected, it will result in criticism that an AS sufferer would have trouble coping with.</div> <bR> <div> <B>High standard of maths (and science)</b></div> <div> I left science out because it was an exception. Keep the practice up, even in the fantasy world, which I did, although I have a tendency today to mix up my times tables with football scores! Laughable, but a real nuisance at times, and also occasionally embarrassing! Generally though it is an area that needs no adaptation, and is another positive.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Inability to cope with criticism or imperfection</b></div> <div> This is tough to adapt to. If the child likes sport, and involves it in either their fantasy world or their fad/obsession (or both), I would recommend becoming an umpire or referee of that sport. It has given me an individual presence in a team sport environment, and a sense of control. I have also persevered, out of a love of the game (in my case, Australian Rules football as I have previously mentioned), and that should also be encouraged. A good instructor or advisor will help, and I have generally been  lucky there. It teaches you to ignore criticism as you'll get heaps  from the sidelines, and the rewards are there for perfection, or as close to it  as you can get. And you'll develop a thick skin to help protect you from any other  abuse or child like teasing that you may get in adult life in general. And that will happen.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Withdrawal into isolated activities (as a result of school yard teasing)</b></div> <div> The only problem that may arise here is pressure from adult social environments for the AS sufferer to join in. Although the general rule is to get involved, it is not a good idea for an AS sufferer to do so. I have always told people in the past that I don't have time, but I don't go into details as to why, and any queries should be answered in the form of "personal requirements". Some may not accept that, and it is a good idea to attend some social functions, especially in areas that appear friendly. But don't mix. Just don't get too involved in anything. My social activity is limited to football functions and presentations. And I will not be pushed. I've again been lucky in that area. If an AS sufferer is pushed to far, I would get out of there. It's a health hazard.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Unusual gait or stance with a tendency to be clumsy</b></div> <div> This is really tough because the unusual stance can create a real problem. In my case there were some workers who though I was homosexual because of my stance. That's the lack of knowledge problem coming up again, and it can be a real problem for a heterosexual, especially on top of the lack of social activity. The sufferer should seek assistance to help strengthen their sexual identity. I had to pursue my own assistance for reasons that I won't go into, that was actually trying out a brothel. It worked for me, but it's not a method that I would recommend if an alternative is available. And it's definitely not on if it's totally illegal to run a brothel in your area (such as Queensland in Australia, and there are bound to be similar cases in the United States and other countries). The clumsiness can only be conquered with concentration. I mentioned the fear of being hurt and that can also be a problem in that you are looked down on as a coward. I have learned (as hard as it is) to take that as a sort of compliment, because that is a fair description. And besides, it's also possible that the person calling you a coward is discriminating against AS. So the response, "Coming from you, that's a compliment" (or words to that effect) is appropriate.</div> <bR> <div> <B>A presentation that is seen as odd or eccentric</b></div> <div> In my case, I have also learnt to take being referred to as eccentric as a sort of compliment, because that is also a fair description. Learning  to accept yourself as who you are is a great help here, as it would be for cowardice, and that is something that goes for anyone, AS sufferer or otherwise. I heard a story that Albert Einstein had AS. I don't know whether or not that's true, but given his gift with mathematics as well as his reputation as being an eccentric it makes sense.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Appearance of good language skills but limited content</b></div> <div> For me this manifests itself in knowing what I want to say, but not getting the right word out, and a tendency to resort to slang terms that no one understands. This can only improve with experience, and the rote memory can help here. Don't try and rush it. And again, knowledge helps. It also doesn't help when you tell someone that you have a disability, and they don't believe you because of the "appearance" of good skills. Face value counts for heaps in today's society, and in this sense that doesn't help.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Poor social understanding</b></div> <div> This can not be fixed in my experience. You can only do the best that you can.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Loud voice/hyperverbal</b></div> <div> This can be controlled, but only if I'm in control of the situation.  When I'm angry or frustrated, and conversely excited, this becomes much harder to control, if not impossible. I have tried to adapt this tendency with my umpiring, and being hyperverbal, or wanting to talk heaps, actually  helps as you are letting everyone know what's going on. It's my style although it's probably more suited to junior football than it is to open age. It also suits commentating, where going "troppo" seeing a great mark or goal scored is more acceptable. In the work place this can be a big problem, especially in a small environment like an office. In my case that is unfortunate because all together aspects of AS actually suit an office environment better than anywhere else.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Live in a fantasy world</b></div> <div> I've adapted this by linking my fantasy world to the real world in as many ways as I can realistically. It would take too long to go into details as to how I've done it, without actually describing my fantasy world. And that would take ages. The only thing that has to be done is keep it at home, and if it has to go elsewhere, give it a real application if you can. Two examples of my fantasy world are located in the football section and the wrestling section respectively. In fact, you could say that this website is a way of making the link between my fantasy world and the real one.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Tendency to be disorganized</b></div> <div> This can creep up on you, and can be frustrating. This is one feature that I've always tried to fight, as being disorganized clashes with being perfect. I've done reasonably well, but I still have a long way to go.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Tendency to be obstinate, callous, vindictive or insensitive</b></div> <div> In the case of obstinacy, I've learnt to try and be open if that is the way I am treated. To treat a person the way they treat you is not a bad general rule although it doesn't always work as the lack of social skills can lead to some poor reading of behavior. If the other person is stubborn, return  it if they won't discuss the problem. That's the way I work. The others all go together, and you can be all of those things, provided that you have a damn good reason. I believe the time to do it is when you are clearly being disrespected, and it is having an effect on an aspect of your life that you consider sacred, especially work, your fantasy world or your fad/obsession. Otherwise you can think it, and maybe write things about it for yourself, as I have done. I have three hate letters on my computer hard drive. But I won't be sending them. It is also helpful when it comes to fighting against discrimination, which every AS sufferer will have to do at some time.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Obsessional questioning</b></div> <div> If the person being questioned doesn't know about your disability this can be a real problem. Make sure that you tell the person you are questioning that you don't understand fully, and they are not making themselves clear. They have the problem otherwise. The sooner they know about AS the better. (Note - This is why I hated the Flight Lieutenant with the Defense Department. She knew about AS, and yet she took my questioning as arguing, a classic error displaying ignorance in her case.)</div> <bR> <div> <B>Restlessness</b></div> <div> This can be dangerous in the work place. A sufferer must dedicate themselves to the job otherwise they can get into trouble. It can also be a problem if there is no routine about the job, as I have found. That is a responsibility of the employer in my view. You can only do so much. And distractions don't help. That really affects me badly at home, even down to concentrating on getting this upgraded website uploaded!</div> <bR> <div> <B>Repetitive or preservative</b></div> <div> This can be a positive, provided again that there is a routine. The best sort of perseverance is perfecting a routine that makes everyone happy, if you get the chance! (That's a personal remark based on personal experience. Guess where from!)</div> <bR> <div> <B>Fads/Obsessions</b></div> <div> There is no real reason why this can't fit in somewhere in an AS sufferer's life. And this is essential to a sufferer who can not get a job, as in my case.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Mary M. Muoio, MS OT, Post-MS GRN</b></div> <div> <B>e-mail at mary@healthmood.com</b></div> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>